Ngayap Settled, now who will Nguai?

Yup, i told u that ngayap is an traditional Iban flirting which we Ibans don't practice anymore (as far as i know...). But another adat is adat Nguai which we still practice until this very day (but not as strict as how it used to be practiced before...). What is nguai? Nguai is actually an agreement between a man's family and a woman's family before that man and woman want to get married.. erm...curious? Please enjoy the short story below to understand more about nguai... you may need to prepare a tissue paper, because it a tragic love story... who knows u might cry :-P friends, do enjoy...

~ Lemiah and Assan ~

In the ancient days, the Ibans were very particular about their daughters and sons going to marry. This was because nguai was a very important issue in the social and economic system of the Iban people.
Nguai is a practice to decide whether the woman should stay with her own family or not after the marriage. Should an Iban family has only a daughter, her intended husband and his family should agree to let hin live with the girl's family. His social status would then be of a son-in-law who becomes a part of the family - physically, socially and economically. If his family did not agree with the terms and conditions, the mariage will not take place and the girl's family will have to find another suitor. However, if the man is the only son in the family, then his family sets the rule. The marriage would not take place if the girl's family did not agree with his rules.

There is a folktale pertaining to the tradition which has passed down in Ulu Skrang. Lemiah, a fair Iban maiden, came from a good family who owned a lot of jars, padi fields, silver ornaments and brassware. They were well-known for their generousity. She was an only child and it brought a great deal of sadness to the family as they had to be on a look out for a son-in-law who could stay with them. From a very early age, Lemiah demonstrated her intelligence and friendliness. She had made friends with all the children in the long house, particularly, a good boy named Assan who had a little limp. All the children helped in the padi fields belonging to their own family. Both Lemiah and Assan were the best little workers in the padi fields and everyone admired them for their speed and diligence.

Soon, it was time for Lemiah's parents to decide with whom Lemiah should be married to. A young man from another long house was selected and the family and kinfolks were over the moon. There could not have been a better choice. Lemiah, however, was disappointed that Assan was not the chosen one. Her famiy thought Assan was not suitable for her. Worst of all, he could not leave his house to live with her family as he too was the only child.

Assan was sad when he heard that Lemiah was to marry someone else and went into the jungle to hunt. After many days of travelling, he was weakened by his sorrow. However, his guardian spirit came to his aid in the form of a hornbill. The hornbill understood his good intentions and deep love for Lemiah. So he told Assan to ask Lemiah to follow him to the waterfall next to the long house on the next full moon before she was to be married. Assan was not sure what would be the outcome, but he believed in his guardian spirit and did as he was told. On the night of the full moon, Lemiah left the long house only too willingly to follow Assan. However, just as they reached the waterfall, the gongs in the long house were sounded and the villagers came afterthem. They had broken the customs and Lemiah had broken her marriage vows. The anger of the families permeated the whole forest and caused the leaves to tremble. The sound of the gongs echoued through the hills. Lemiah and Assan were trapped as they could not cross the waterfall. At last, they jumped into the water. The villagers were shocked by this desperate act and returned home empty handed. Lemiah's parents were heartbroken for they had lost their only child. Assan's family too was saddened and they took the blame for causing this shame. They had to pay their fines and also had to move out from the long house. Such was the punishment dealt out by the headman.

~The end~

What about me? Will I nguai to my future husband if i get married? Guess i will.. mind you, i am the only woman in my family, but i will nguai because i have promised this to someone... It is a sacrifice i have to do.

When a Boy likes a Girl - the Ibans way

When a boy likes a girl, in traditional Iban culture, the boy will ngayap the girl. Ngayap is a form of courting the girl and it is done during the night. The purpose of ngayap is to give the chance to the boy and girl to know each other better and to express their feelings which are usually not decent when to do during the day in the eyes of public.

What happen during ngayap is that the boy will creep to the side of curtain of the girl's room and awakes her. Then, the girl will come out and meet the boy. Both of them might stay until close to dawn if the girl like the boy too. There will be conversations and whether there is any sexual relationship, it will depend on the girl.
In Adat Iban, the boy is not allowed to ngayap continously, if it happens, the parents of the girl can bring the matter to the Tuai Rumah (leader of the longhouse) and the boy will be fined. And ngayap also only allowed to Ibans, if any other ethnics ngayap, the person is subjected to be fined under Adat Iban. Like wise, the Ibans should not introduce ngayap to other ethics as they will be fined also.
However, in this modern era, ngayap has lost its importance. Nowadays, flirting or courting happens during wedding functions, parties, gawai festival, social instituitions etc. But ngayap tradition is still well-known among Ibans and many Iban songs include the story of ngayap in the lyrics.

Bahasa Iban

'Nama berita nuan kaban?' Do you what language is that? the meaning? Well, it simply means 'apa kabar kamu kawan?' or 'how are u friend?'. In Iban language.

Iban language is spoken by the Iban but don't be supprise if you visit Sarawak you will find many other races such as Chinese, Malays and other Dayak tribes speak Iban also. The language is understood my many Sarawakian maybe because it has some similarities to Malay language especially the Sarawakian Malay.

'Previously during the colonial regime (1946-1963), the Iban language was recognized and even used during the Council Negeri meetings. The Borneo Literature Bureau was set up to help popularize the language through its Iban magazine called Nendak and through the printing of Iban books.'

'When Sarawak obtained her independence through the formation of Malaysia, the Borneo Literature Bureau (BLB) was abolished and in came Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka (DBP) some time 1978 to take its place. The abolishment of BLB saw several hundreds of Iban books and magazines destroyed.' (Source from thebrokenshield blog).

But after vigorous efforts of the Iban Comittee, the language began to be accepted again by the government and the teaching of the language in primary and secondary schools were approved until today and it is tested in PMR and SPM examinations. However, from my experience, even if the Iban is my mothertongue, it is hard to score due to the difficulty to access the reading materials in Iban. In fact, the Iban dictionary is also hard to find. Plus, Iban may be a language but it also has different dialects in different areas in Sarawak. For example, 'you 'in proper Iban language is 'nuan' but mostly spoken as 'dek' or in areas such as Kota Samarahan, Sadong and Lundu, you is 'kuak'. The differences in term may be minor but the phrases of Sibu Iban may sometimes mean something else in Sadong Iban. Unique, isn't it?

Sapa nama nuan? - "What is your name?"

Brapa rega utai tu? - "How much is this?"

Dini alai ___? - "Where is ___?"

Ari ni penatai nuan? - "Where are you from?"

Aku datai ari ___. - "I come from ___."

Pukul brapa diatu? - "What is the time now?"

Selamat lemai! - "Good evening!"

Selamat datai! - "Welcome!"

Anang manchal! - "Don't be naughty!"

enda ulih datai - "cannot come"

Anang guai - "hold on" "Don't spoil it"

Nadai ngawa nya - "nevermind that"

Nyamai wai - "nice taste"

Pulai dulu-"I'm going back"

Aram bekelala-"Let's introduce ourselves"

Pengerindu-"Love, Passion"

Aku rinduka nuan-"I love / like you"

Manah-"Good, Great"

Jai-"Bad, damaged"

Sapa enggau nuan?-"Who came with you?"

Aku enggau ___-"I came / went with ___"

Ninga meh-"Please listen"

Anang inggar / ragak-"Silent, please"

Kini nuan?-"Where are you going?"

Mar amat! - "too expensive!"

Kapanya! - "Whatever!"

Selamat pagi pengajar. - "Good morning teacher."

Aku enda nemu - "I don't know"

Aram meh kitai ngirup - "Let drink together"

Aku lelenggau ka nuan - "I miss you"

p/s: if you ever heard of Sleeping Dictionary, it is not a way we Ibans teach our language to others.. we have a place call school ok? not bed..

About this..

It took me very long to think about what i want to include in my latest blog. Finally i came out with the idea to introduce everything about Ibans. The culture, the music, the lifestyle, the taboos, the legends, the food etc..

I am a pure Iban girl. But i don't really live in a long house because i was born in the urban city of Kuching and my village is also very near to the Malays village. I am assimilated with other cultures. But still i am an Iban in heart.

Talking about my iban blood, people seemed to confuse my look. Commonly people will mistake me as a Chinese but sometimes i do get mistaken for other races such as Malay, Bidayuh and the weirdest was Lun Bawang (Lun Bawang is one of the many ethnics in Sarawak). I don't know if i really look like that, but i know i don't look like a typical Iban because i also have mixed blood. My mum's dad was a mixed Iban-Chinese (means my ancestor was a Chinese), that was what my mum told me. I believe that.

So, here my first blog is to tell you how an Iban usually look like (what i discussed with my roomate).you can see for yourself the look of ibans below...

1. Chinese eyes
2. Prominent cheek bones
3. Square shaped face
4. Usually straight hair, sometimes wavy

a beautiful iban girl...




















remind me to my grandpa..