When a Boy likes a Girl - the Ibans way

When a boy likes a girl, in traditional Iban culture, the boy will ngayap the girl. Ngayap is a form of courting the girl and it is done during the night. The purpose of ngayap is to give the chance to the boy and girl to know each other better and to express their feelings which are usually not decent when to do during the day in the eyes of public.

What happen during ngayap is that the boy will creep to the side of curtain of the girl's room and awakes her. Then, the girl will come out and meet the boy. Both of them might stay until close to dawn if the girl like the boy too. There will be conversations and whether there is any sexual relationship, it will depend on the girl.
In Adat Iban, the boy is not allowed to ngayap continously, if it happens, the parents of the girl can bring the matter to the Tuai Rumah (leader of the longhouse) and the boy will be fined. And ngayap also only allowed to Ibans, if any other ethnics ngayap, the person is subjected to be fined under Adat Iban. Like wise, the Ibans should not introduce ngayap to other ethics as they will be fined also.
However, in this modern era, ngayap has lost its importance. Nowadays, flirting or courting happens during wedding functions, parties, gawai festival, social instituitions etc. But ngayap tradition is still well-known among Ibans and many Iban songs include the story of ngayap in the lyrics.

Bahasa Iban

'Nama berita nuan kaban?' Do you what language is that? the meaning? Well, it simply means 'apa kabar kamu kawan?' or 'how are u friend?'. In Iban language.

Iban language is spoken by the Iban but don't be supprise if you visit Sarawak you will find many other races such as Chinese, Malays and other Dayak tribes speak Iban also. The language is understood my many Sarawakian maybe because it has some similarities to Malay language especially the Sarawakian Malay.

'Previously during the colonial regime (1946-1963), the Iban language was recognized and even used during the Council Negeri meetings. The Borneo Literature Bureau was set up to help popularize the language through its Iban magazine called Nendak and through the printing of Iban books.'

'When Sarawak obtained her independence through the formation of Malaysia, the Borneo Literature Bureau (BLB) was abolished and in came Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka (DBP) some time 1978 to take its place. The abolishment of BLB saw several hundreds of Iban books and magazines destroyed.' (Source from thebrokenshield blog).

But after vigorous efforts of the Iban Comittee, the language began to be accepted again by the government and the teaching of the language in primary and secondary schools were approved until today and it is tested in PMR and SPM examinations. However, from my experience, even if the Iban is my mothertongue, it is hard to score due to the difficulty to access the reading materials in Iban. In fact, the Iban dictionary is also hard to find. Plus, Iban may be a language but it also has different dialects in different areas in Sarawak. For example, 'you 'in proper Iban language is 'nuan' but mostly spoken as 'dek' or in areas such as Kota Samarahan, Sadong and Lundu, you is 'kuak'. The differences in term may be minor but the phrases of Sibu Iban may sometimes mean something else in Sadong Iban. Unique, isn't it?

Sapa nama nuan? - "What is your name?"

Brapa rega utai tu? - "How much is this?"

Dini alai ___? - "Where is ___?"

Ari ni penatai nuan? - "Where are you from?"

Aku datai ari ___. - "I come from ___."

Pukul brapa diatu? - "What is the time now?"

Selamat lemai! - "Good evening!"

Selamat datai! - "Welcome!"

Anang manchal! - "Don't be naughty!"

enda ulih datai - "cannot come"

Anang guai - "hold on" "Don't spoil it"

Nadai ngawa nya - "nevermind that"

Nyamai wai - "nice taste"

Pulai dulu-"I'm going back"

Aram bekelala-"Let's introduce ourselves"

Pengerindu-"Love, Passion"

Aku rinduka nuan-"I love / like you"

Manah-"Good, Great"

Jai-"Bad, damaged"

Sapa enggau nuan?-"Who came with you?"

Aku enggau ___-"I came / went with ___"

Ninga meh-"Please listen"

Anang inggar / ragak-"Silent, please"

Kini nuan?-"Where are you going?"

Mar amat! - "too expensive!"

Kapanya! - "Whatever!"

Selamat pagi pengajar. - "Good morning teacher."

Aku enda nemu - "I don't know"

Aram meh kitai ngirup - "Let drink together"

Aku lelenggau ka nuan - "I miss you"

p/s: if you ever heard of Sleeping Dictionary, it is not a way we Ibans teach our language to others.. we have a place call school ok? not bed..

About this..

It took me very long to think about what i want to include in my latest blog. Finally i came out with the idea to introduce everything about Ibans. The culture, the music, the lifestyle, the taboos, the legends, the food etc..

I am a pure Iban girl. But i don't really live in a long house because i was born in the urban city of Kuching and my village is also very near to the Malays village. I am assimilated with other cultures. But still i am an Iban in heart.

Talking about my iban blood, people seemed to confuse my look. Commonly people will mistake me as a Chinese but sometimes i do get mistaken for other races such as Malay, Bidayuh and the weirdest was Lun Bawang (Lun Bawang is one of the many ethnics in Sarawak). I don't know if i really look like that, but i know i don't look like a typical Iban because i also have mixed blood. My mum's dad was a mixed Iban-Chinese (means my ancestor was a Chinese), that was what my mum told me. I believe that.

So, here my first blog is to tell you how an Iban usually look like (what i discussed with my roomate).you can see for yourself the look of ibans below...

1. Chinese eyes
2. Prominent cheek bones
3. Square shaped face
4. Usually straight hair, sometimes wavy

a beautiful iban girl...




















remind me to my grandpa..